Tuesday, January 3, 2012
Another year has come and gone in Blaine, Minnesota, leaving behind expectations not met, tires not rotated, pounds not lost, outstanding balances not paid, summonses not served and the bond measure for the Olympic velodrome still bogged down in committee. Welcome, 2012; hope you have better luck than the last guy.
Smugglers’ Inn had a great New Year’s Eve, thank you for asking. Our bar rocked from 9 o’clock on and there were no fights with weapons. The kitchen stayed busy, but with a prix fixe menu and two seatings that are always full, it’s the flow of booze that determines if you’re up or down and we are winning like Charlie Sheen. Given that our little advertising sideline brought in less in November/December than a bell ringer outside of Ron Paul’s campaign headquarters, it felt nice to have too much business again—even if it was only for a night.
We will have to wait until our mid-month inventory to run the numbers, but there is a way that we in the trade use to predict the relative sobriety of a New Year's Eve crowd: from the things that crowd leaves behind.
A policing of our bar, dining area, parking lot and adjacent shrubbery recovered the following items:
Man’s chain wallet, black, empty.
Buck knife, tip broken.
4-oz. can of mace in leather pouch, full.
14-oz can of bear repellent, 1/2 full.
Hat, women’s, vintage with feather.
Women’s red size 8 pump, left.
Women’s “Bedazzled” handbag containing used Kleenexes, assorted pens and pencils, prescription glasses and 1/2 bag of candy orange slices (Fritzie Fresh).
Plush toy pig with motorcycle jacket.
Prescription glasses (bifocals), mens steel frame.
Reading glasses, red, women's.
Sunglasses, “Blue Blockers” brand.
Birth Control “daisy wheel”, Loestrin brand, unused.
Man’s wedding band, platinum, “Love Never Dies” inscription.
3-tooth retainer with gold fittings, (woman’s or child’s).
Four Smugglers’ Inn pewter plates. (People are always stealing these decorative plates. Judging from the dents and scrapes, these four had been used as Frisbees.)
Men’s Rolex watch (fake).
Gun holster, black, concealed carry.
Car keys, Kia.
Car Keys, Pontiac, Green Bay Packers fob.
Bong, red, white and blue acrylic, missing bowl
Women’s Hermes scarf, silk, soiled.
Women’s panties, black cotton/polyester, size 9 (still in the plastic from Victoria’s Secret).
Hearing aid, MircoTek Vector brand.
Plastic bag from CVS containing Gynolotrimin, Dentyne Ice chewing gum, Pepto Bismol (mint), 3-pack, Trojan Max condoms, Bausch and Lomb “No Rub” contact lens solution, Chapstick.
“Live Strong” yellow silicone wrist band.
Droid Razr cell phone.
IPod Nano, pink.
Two-year AA sobriety medallion (oops).
Wizard’s cap, handmade, purple satin with stars.
It goes without saying that this does not include the baseball caps, underwear, ear muffs, stocking caps, pens, lighters, children’s art, and other assorted detritus that goes straight into the trash.
If anything from this list belong to you, you may pick it up during our regular business hours or contact us through this website. Unclaimed items will be tossed into the "Pirate's Booty" box, picked through by our employees and accidentally discarded the next time is occurs to any of us that we could use a little more space.
Peace on Earth and best wishes for a safe and prosperous New Year. Live strong,