“We’re pinching ourselves, I mean, holy sand dabs—Garth Brooks!” said an obviously star-struck Smugglers’ Inn representative who had donned a black hat for the announcement. Brooks, the second-highest grossing solo act of all time after Elvis Presley, reportedly was “touched right here” when he had read the never-recorded lyrics, which recount the story of a struggling business’ fortuitous transition from restaurant to restaurant/ad agency, leaving out the part about the hepatitis scare in 1989 from which this restaurant never fully recovered.
Continued the spokesman, “Garth Brooks is the quintessential American and Prop 291, which is all about American freedom, is right up his alley. Frankly, I never liked what’s-her-name’s music. (A reference to Shakira whom, it had been previously reported here, had been slated to sing the Smugglers’ Inn Theme song.) She’s from Colombia, not the District of--the Colombia by Chile and Brazil. Those people have no conception of time; I think its something in their genes. Anyway, she had conflict. The guys at Lagos were P-O’ed. Well, they sure made it right. Yee-ha! Garth Brooks.”
“Lagos” is Lagos Star Entertainment, the promoters of the concert event known as “Soupstock”, which seeks to raise lobbying money to promote measures granting fast track status to undocumented kitchen workers. Lagos is reportedly in “final negotiation” with the country superstar.
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